The Real Cost of Separation: Why Collaborative Family Law May Save You More Than You Think

I recently a conversation with a Financial Planner based in Melbourne, Jordan Vaka of Planning Solo, who works as a Financial Neutral (or Independent) within the Collaborative Family Law model.

He raised an interesting point that I believe is worth sharing, one that challenges a common misconception that can stop people from exploring what might actually be the most constructive, cost-effective path through separation.

His frustration?

That many people believe the Collaborative Family Law approach is more expensive than traditional separation pathways. such as mediation or even lawyer-led negotiations.

But as he pointed out, this belief is often based on a few big blind spots in how we calculate “the cost of separation.”

1. Most people underestimate what separation truly costs

In the traditional adversarial approach, people tend to only consider the costs on their legal bill: legal fees, mediation costs, property valuations, and (if things go sideways) potential Court costs.

What they don’t factor in the other costs of separation that often include accounting, financial advice, and psychological support costs as these are generally paid for separately from their lawyer’s invoice.

In contrast, the Collaborative approach makes these supports transparent and integrated from the outset. It may appear more expensive upfront, but it’s actually providing a complete picture of the true cost of separation, not a half-truth.

In other words, when you compare a Collaborative process to the “traditional” one, you’re often comparing an apple to half an apple.

2. The hidden financial gains of collaboration

Another often overlooked reality is that the Collaborative model can generate opportunities for financial gain, not just savings.

Because the professionals involved (lawyers, financial neutrals, and coaches) work together, rather than in silos, separating couples can explore creative, tax-efficient, and emotionally intelligent solutions that often don’t exist in adversarial settings.

This can include:

• Avoiding unnecessary asset sales

• Maintaining existing business or trust structures

• Reducing capital gains tax implications

• Preserving superannuation and investment flexibility

By contrast, the traditional approach often involves liquidating or restructuring assets in ways that trigger avoidable financial losses, simply because the process is driven by more immediate division rather than cooperation.

3. The priceless value of preserving relationships

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the Collaborative model supports not just physical and financial wellbeing, but emotional wellbeing and relationship preservation.

When people separate through traditional legal pathways, it’s not just finances that take a hit. Resentment, mistrust, and long-term damage to co-parenting relationships often linger for years, and sometimes generations.

The Collaborative process fosters a space for minimised conflict, building communication skills, and protect family relationships as they evolve into new forms. That kind of outcome is difficult to quantify, but for families navigating co-parenting, it’s absolutely invaluable.

The bottom line

Yes, Collaborative Family Law may appear more expensive at first glance.

And yes, it may sometimes cost more upfront in professional fees - every separating family is unique in what level of support they may need.

But when you look at the whole picture, emotional, relational, and financial, it’s often the smarter, more sustainable investment. For many families, it’s the difference between short-term cost and long-term wellbeing.

As the Jordan Vaka expressed to me: It’s not about what it costs, it’s about what it saves you from.

Ready to explore a Collaborative pathway?

If you’re curious about how a Collaborative Family Law process might support your separation journey, emotionally, practically, and financially, our Collaborative Family Law Facilitation practice could be your next step - book your complimentary Next Steps Call here to explore.

Or, if you’re not quite ready for the full collaborative process but want to begin creating conscious financial structures post-separation, Financial Separation Made Easy program has just re-launched with free access to Avoiding Post-Separation Conflict and a suite of Masterclasses with insights and wisdom shared by a number of professionals to support your journey, including Jordan Vaka.

Because the true cost of separation isn’t just in dollars: It’s in the lack of peace, fractured relationships, and the damaged legacy you leave for your family. But it doesn’t have to be that way and you can start your journey to your Thriving Divorce today!